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| I think this is TW (maybe taipei's) belief. If we ignore the problem, then it will go away. In fact, don't get yourself involved, avoid all risks, and you won't get hurt. My grandpa called me to check on me after being told what happened via my uncle and aunt. He basically said that the culture in TW does not encourage others to get involved in anything, because you are not minding your own business. If you mind your own business, then you will be able to go through life peacefully and happily and all will be good. Am I wrong? Am I wrong to stand up for others when I see others being disrespectful? I just don't understand. Why spend money or time trying to create programs that teach character? What's the point? What a waste of time! I don't care if I get hit again or whatever...demonstrating common courtesy and respect should be encouraged and enforced. | | |
| Call it stupidity or hope for change...I have decided (at this time..before 6 months) not to sue. I had a meeting with the S's mom (SM), the S, and the S's homeroom teacher (HT). Those, who joined to support me, were my director (D) and the student services/counseling director (SCD). The meeting begin with the S's HT apologizing to me for his S's behavior. The HT also kept referring to him as a "child". I interrupted and asked the HT to no longer refer to the S as a "child", because the S is an adult. As the meeting continued, I expressed how the S could've responded in his anger before the opening of the doors of the mrt, but didn't . I said that the S's actions were, in fact, premeditated. The S responded that he was talking on the phone (which means..that's why he waited until he responded violently when it was time to exit). My D immediately used an example of riding a motorcycle without a helmet, in demonstrating that we don't ask the policeman to forgive the motorcyclist for not wearing a helmet, you just pay the fine. (I really liked that example used). Anyways, the SM immediately began apologizing on behalf of her son and saying that she didn't raise him well. The SM also blamed herself for telling her son the "issues" happening at home. The SM also blamed herself that a mother should not release so much "family pressure" on her son to cause her son to react violently. I immediately told her not to blame herself and that it was her son's decision to make that wrongful and violent choice against me. I also told her that she is not to blame, but it's her son to blame and take responsibility for his actions. The meeting continued with both sides reminding the S not to "hit anyone", not to "lose your temper"..etc. etc. (things I'm sure he's heard for the last 3 days). So, the HT told the S to apologize to me again. So, the S apologized and said he knows he was wrong..blah, blah, blah. Afterwards, I told him that I understand that you are apologetic that you want to change...BUT HOW?? I asked him what steps are you going to take to change. What kind of action plan or contract will you have to show me and others that you are going to make an effort to change? So, the S said that he was going to see a counselor to talk to about his "issues". I asked the SCD when and how many times a week. I asked the S..what else? The S said that he would help me. I said no, don't help me. I said helping me would be meaningless. I said I want to know how you are going to be proactive in making a change (not have the school prepare courses for him to show up to). So, I suggested for him to go to the local community groups that work with women from domestic violence and teach children to use their words, not fists to discuss their issues. So, with that..an agreement was made that the SH will hold the S accountable on a "weekly" basis..(to be honest, I'll be calling the SH in a few days to make sure an action plan or some kind of contract was drawn up for the S). So even though I'm seen as "magnanimous" in this situation, ultimately...if I do ANYTHING I might not be working at where I am due to the powers that be. This is the culture I live in. | | |
| In the bible, the good samaritan was willing to sacrifice his time and money (possibly status) to help those in need. I would never call myself a good samaritan (though I try to be) whenever I come across those who are unwilling to give up their seat for the elderly. In fact, there are designated seats for those who are elderly, pregnant, or who are carrying a baby/small chlid. Well, I definitely paid for it being a one with my head and lip... I was coming back from a lovely lunch with a friend from the US (J) and I was heading home to get some things done to prepare for tomorrow. I entered into our public transportation system (PTS) and proceeded to stand, because I didn't want to sit. As the PTS headed to the next stop, I wondered if would see/meet any of my Ss. A S that I didn't recognized entered into the PTS and proceeded to sit in the designated seat area for the elderly, pregnant women, and mothers with small children. I was fine with that, because there weren't any elderly, women who were preggers, and mothers with small children around. The PTS stopped at the next stop and an elderly buddhist man enters inside. I can tell he's scanning for an empty seat, but none is available. The other passengers pretend to ignore, fall asleep, or distract themselves with other things while this man is standing uncomfortably. I wait for a minute to see if anyone is willing to give up their seat for this man. NONE. So, I tap the S and motion to him the elderly gentleman. The S looks up and me and has a questionable look. I motion to him again towards the elderly man and the S gets up to give the man his seat. (maybe if i said thank u to the S, the S wouldn't have reacted...later on..) The PTS continues,while I'm holding massive loads of things (i tend to carry 2-3 bags...it's like I'm moving or something). I get to the stop where I need to switch to another line. And...right when the doors open, the S yells something in Chinese and proceeds to run towards me and slam his book into my face (well lip). I'm reeling from the shock and I scream/yell out "What the hell, you f****s**!" What the hell is wrong with you!" I grab him, because I'm not going to let him get away from beating me like that and he proceeds to pummel my head with his fists (you know at this time, I would think all my BC classes would've came in handy in defending his blows). People around us are circling and freaked out to see this S beat the crap out of me, while I'm crying and screaming and yelling not soooo pretty words in English. Luckily, a man (in his 40s) grabbed the S by the neck to prevent him from running away (I really do thank God for that man..whoever you are, thank you sir!). FINALLY, the PTS people come out to see the commotion and it's then I touch my mouth and see blood on my hands...great. I was in complete shock and completely livid. As we waited for the police and finally the school authorities..yep, that's right. The S proceeded to "calmly" tell his side of the story..his story was that when he entered in the PTS, I "looked upset" when he sat down. Then, the S said I slapped him to tell him to get up for someone else. Next, the S said I continued to nag him repeatedly as the PTS continued on its way. So basically, the S got so upset, that he lost his temper and instead of telling me that "hurt his feelings", he decided to use his book and fists to do the talking. You know the funny thing about this is that after multiple talked to him..that's when he apologized. I don't believe him. In fact, the only reason he apologized is because he knows he is in deep doodoo. My uncle and aunt are telling me to forgive this S, because he is immature (他不懂事). Can I use this excuse when he becomes even more violent and instead of using his fists, he has a knife or any other kind of weapon? What the HELL!?! What is wrong with this society? This S is over 20 years old and 他不懂事. Well, fine then... I'll use that excuse whenever I do something wrong then. Tramatized? Yes. Will I continue to stand up for others? Yes. I just goes to show that we are spoiling those who deserve to get what they deserve. | | |
| Dear student, Thank you for informing me of your concern about your grade for second semester. I know it must have been difficult to beg and to hold in your tears of regret and shame. Thank you for asking me so emphatically via email and in person to allow you to pass my class. I'm also so proud to hear that you'll promise to work harder, have a better attitude, and be on time. What a great idea! However, I regret to inform you that I will not be a sacrificial lamb due to your irresponsibility in your lack of attendance, lack of homework assignments, lack of prepartion, and lack of studying. Of course, I sympathize with the extra financial burden for your family, the inability to attend graduate school, the inability to take the next level course, or the inability to go abroad. I'm also so proud to hear that you'll promise to work harder, have a better attitude, and be on time. However, please do not hold me responsible for your lack of responsbility. Therefore, I regret to inform you that I will not be able to change your grade. For me to change your grade would require me to admit fault that will be notified directly to the school administration. Unfortunately, the only one at fault is not me, but you. Have a great summer! Sincerely, 范老師 | | |
| Year 3 was a very challenging and fulfilling year. Year 3 was filled with a new job, new apartments, new roommate, new sister-in-law, new outlook, new church (?), new friends, new relationships with relatives, and new decisions to be made. My job was a fulfillment of dream that I've had since the summer of 2001. It was in the summer of 2001 that I decided to go to graduate school to fulfill the teaching requirement to teach in a university. It was not until this year that it was fulfilled and continues (I was asked to continue next year!) I've been so blessed with a supportive staff and co-workers. I've also been learning so much about the
"TW culture" aspects in the working environment. It has been quite a challenging and somewhat tearful experience, but with happy results! In the same year, I moved three times. I moved from my old apartment in Shilin that I shared with my previous roommate/co-worker to church in Taipei for a month or so until I found another apartment. After I found my new apartment, I moved all of my things from the church. However, unknown to me, this area was known as the "red-light" district of Taipei. I realized after I had multiple sleepness nights due to inability of feeling safe in my own apartment, I had to move out asap. After discussing with my friend (now my roommate) about moving to another place, we decided to move to another apartment in the metropolitan outskirts of Taipei City. And it's been such a blessing! I'm not only blessed with a great roommate, but the apartment is large and comfortable enough for me to feel at home. And of course, who can forget my brother getting married to the most wonderful sister-in-law! She's the best and I feel so blessed! She's even picking me up from the airport when I arrive! How great is she?!? More recently, my outlook/appearance has been "adjusted" for the sake of my eyelashes that grow inwards. I'm not "used to" the new look though I've been getting mutliple compliments on how "natural" it looks. I think I despise the "fawning" that seems to associate that I "look better" cuz then it just seems like I didn't "look good enuf" before the surgery. Sigh... Interacting with others who are around the same age as me and have the same interests has broaden my "social" circle. I've been pushing (I mean encouraging) others to join together to run and visit different places in TW. It has even included a hiking trip to Jade Mtn, which we'll be doing again at the end of July! We even have plans to bike around TW...soon? In the past, I've always despised seeing my relatives, because their negative comments about my appearance or my inability to communicate would always leave me feeling low about myself. However, I decided since I'm living in TW, I cannot let that hinder me from getting to know my relatives. It has been a 360 revelation for me. I've learned so much about my family history. Not only that, I've actually been able to build a relationship with them that I thought wouldn't be possible! Decisions come and go, but this one is one that I've been thinking for a while. I've decided to stay in TW permanently. However, it will limit some of my chances about a future "___", but I believe that this is where I belong. So, I leave it or him..up to Him. I look forward to seeing what Year 4 will be like....:p | | |
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